I was again reading on a friend's blog and found the following, speaking of a book on marriage:

..."What if God designed marriage NOT to make us happy...but to make us holy?"

Wow, reading that was hard. You mean(my husband) wasn't created to fill my every need, want and desire? He wasn't married to me to ensure that I slept in a bed of roses and woke every day to singing in sunshine? Well what did I sign up for then?

Thomas explains and uses countless scripture references to support this: God designed marriage to - make me a servant, expose my sin, teach me to pray, teach me to respect, to SUBMIT, to forgive, to be aware of God's presence and to develop and further my (our) spiritual calling.

Um, wow.

Suddenly perspectives change. If marriage isnt all about me being happy and I allow God to work with me on that thought...suddenly submission, giving and all those things listed above become easier and even a blessing! Wow, our God is so awesome and good!


These are good thoughts, really good ones, but to me, they don't just have to apply to marriage. For me reading them, It was just with life in general, with close friends... God has been showing me over and over again through people, blogs, books, sermons, class lectures etc. that I need to rely on Him and Him only. So hard. Sadly, but honestly, I've spent the past several months depending on one or two people and using God as a last resort. Now when reality strikes, I find myself at the beginning again, struggling to lean on God for support. I know I have grown, and will continue to grow, but it is a struggle and a painful one at that.

Again, I am praising God for the many people He has put in my life to help me along, to show me where I need to change and to help me whenever possible.