1-11-11

So far this semester is promising to stretch me so much! That is a scary yet good feeling. I know that it is time and I know that God will get me through it and that is all that really matters. => Out of my seven classes, only one of them is a class Im not so sure Im going to get much out of..but that is ok. That in itself will be a stretch for me because I absolutly detest the subject! This semester my goal is to try to do the best that I can, not just merely get the homework done and on time, but to truly strive for the best. Honestly has not happened yet and its past time to start trying.

Another goal is to work on a few things in my walk with God such as doing daily devotions (so far, so good!), memorizing scripture to last forever --not just to pass the quiz, and to take my focus off myself and put it on God and others. That, im pretty sure, is going to be the hardest (and I wouldnt at all mind a few friendly reminders...cuz im sure I will be needing them).

One passage of Scripture that has really really grabbed my attention recently is John 21:15-25. This is where Christ is talking with Peter and asks him, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?" Most of you know the story and know Peter's answer that yes, he loves Him and then Christ's response of "feed my lambs" and then proceeds to have basically the same conversation two more times. A few weeks ago, we covered this passage in Sunday School and then again this past Sunday evening. So many good things were brought out, but one of the main ones is that yes, Peter had messed up. He had just denied knowing Christ three times and was extrememly sorrowful about that. Then Christ asked him if he loved Him...three times, and, the Bible says, Peter was grieved because He asked him three times. There are so many paths I could take from here, but mainly I was struck with the fact that Peter had failed yet Christ was there offering a new start and offering to still accomplish something great with Peter's life if he was just willing to move on. So many times I have failed. Many times I find myself asking for forgiveness for the same sin...even as much as three days in a row. I feel like such an utter failure and can't understand why God would want to forgive me let alone still have anything great planned for my life, but the truth is, God LOVES me with a love I could never understand. He is willing to forgive me and to move on if I will. Yes, I have failed. And yes, I will continue to fail, but God still has a perfect plan and that should encourage me and make me want to follow hard after Him. Sunday evening we sang an old hymn called Come Ye Sinners Poor and Needy and the third verse of that song just jumped right off the page at me.

"Come, ye weary, heavy-laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry till you're better,
You will never come at all."

Those words to meant so much to me that day and still do now. I will never be perfect and no matter how much I hate it, the truth is, I will continually fail. If I wait to draw near to God until I think I am "good enough," I will never work at my relationship with God because i will never ever be "good enough." It is by God's grace alone that I can draw near to Him. I am but a sinner and He is a perfect, righteous God! Wow. Yet, He loves me. He LOVES me while I am dead in my trespasses and sins, He loves me. (Ephesians 2) When I focus on myself and on my failures and on my failed plans, life seems unbearable. But, when I focus on my God and on His plans for my life and on His mercy and grace, life is so much brighter, its so much easier to smile, my day is more hope-filled and my ministry to others flows from my heart. Truly I do serve a Great God!!


(and, of course, I can't have a post without saying how much I love my lil nephew and how sad it is that I haven't seen him since Saturday!! => )